Why We Resist Change & How to Break Free from the Familiar
If you’re someone who dreads change, you’re definitely not alone! Change can be incredibly daunting and is often embraced only when it’s absolutely necessary. For instance, you might stay in a job until you can’t stand it anymore, rather than acknowledging the subtle signs that it no longer aligns with your goals or values. You might stay in a relationship because you’re under the impression that this is the best it will ever be for you. It’s common to resist change for various reasons, but the biggest one? Fear of the Unknown. Just the THOUGHT of changing something in our lives can trigger major anxiety about what might lie on the other side.
For some, this anxiety becomes so overwhelming that the pain of changing far outweighs the pain of staying the same. So, we cling to what we know because it’s familiar, predictable, and, above all, SAFE. Our instinct for self-preservation and avoidance of anxiety drives our resistance to change.
The cool thing is though, being human we have the power of choice. We can continue to be bogged down by the anxiety change stirs up, or we can acknowledge and validate that anxiety, while still embracing what change has to offer. Afterall, anxiety will exist anyway. One of the key themes to address in existential therapy is “anxiety as a living condition” for a reason, because we all experience anxiety to varying degrees. It’s unavoidable!
By understanding our resistance to change and taking proactive steps to address it, we can begin to navigate the discomfort and move towards the lives we truly desire. If you’re curious what it looks like to embrace change vs. run from it, a great place to start would be bringing awareness to the beliefs and ideas you have about change by asking yourself:
Am I viewing change as a threat or an opportunity? What beliefs contribute to that perspective?
Am I carrying stories from past experiences that are shaping my current approach to change? What might those be?
Is my resistance tied to a fear of unpredictability or loss of control? How could I reframe this as an opportunity for growth or learning?
Am I focusing solely on potential negative outcomes of change? What positive possibilities might I be overlooking?
How might I feel about myself if I embraced change? Can I see a way in which it could bring me closer to my values or the person I want to become?
Am I seeking comfort in familiarity as a form of safety? How could I create inner stability, even in uncertain or changing circumstances?
