Transform Frustration into Empathy with One Simple Shift

We’ve all been there… Someone cuts us off in traffic, and frustration and anger bubbles up before we even realize it. But what if changing one simple belief could completely transform how we respond—not just to this, but to all of life’s little irritations and challenges?

In everyday moments, like being cut off in traffic, we rarely stop to consider the beliefs driving our emotional reactions—or why those reactions feel so intense. We often accept our responses as “normal,” automatic, and inevitable, without questioning whether they stem from learned patterns or assumptions.

Take the traffic example. Imagine three different people reacting to being cut off:

• Person A: “Everyone should follow the rules of the road. That’s the bare minimum.”

• Person B: “Not everyone drives defensively. It’s annoying but inevitable.”

• Person C: “People are juggling so much—work, emotions, distractions. Maybe they’re overwhelmed.”

Person A responds with anger and frustration. Person B feels annoyed but moves on. Person C, however, accepts the moment and lets it go. The difference? Person A’s rigid belief that everyone must follow the rules intensifies their emotional distress when reality doesn’t meet their expectations. In contrast, Person C’s assumption that everyone is doing the best they can fosters a more flexible and rational response, rooted in understanding and curiosity rather than judgement.

When I adopted this mindset—that everyone is doing the best they can—everything changed. Suddenly, other people’s actions weren’t personal attacks or moral failings, but simply reflections of their capacity and circumstances.

This isn’t about excusing bad behaviour or abandoning boundaries that protect your safety and well-being. It’s about recognizing that others’ actions often have little to do with us and everything to do with their own struggles, limitations, and perspectives.

Instead of condemning or judging someone for acting a certain way, I started to get curious: What might they be experiencing? What beliefs or challenges are shaping their behavior? This simple shift opened the door to greater empathy, less stress, and a profound sense of peace.

The next time you feel frustration creeping in due to the behaviour of another, try asking yourself: Could they be doing the best they can?